Hiking, Travelling and Dreaming

2008-04-19T15:14:00.002-05:00

It's my 3 year anniversary, not for my relationship but for my second career (as nana calls it) or for my religion....

I can't remember what it was like before I ran. I know I was more willing to indulge in greasy food and accompany Mercury to the bar. I know that clothes definitely fit differently, then my pants were usually hard to button at the waist and the glute part was less fitting- more empty! I was a stepper then and not an addict.

It wasn't my fault I fell into it. It was peer pressure from a friend, "come on, even my teachers run marathons and they're not in good shape". So I trained without a plan and a knowledge of running. It sounds silly today but then I thought that every time I had to run long. So I built up to running 1 hour and told myself each time I ran it would be for an hour!!

Luckily, I managed to finish it and my other roomie taught me the basics and hooked me up with a plan. I learned about tempo runs, strides, intervals and the long run. I only had to run long once a week!! Wow! That was a revelation that made running so much easier...

2007-07-25T15:02:00.000-05:00

Back to the City!

I'm back. That about sums it up. It's nice to have my own space and access to public transit but I'm having a bumpy "adjusting" period. The concrete, the heat, it makes me long for a swim in the river.

I'm finding that I obviously don't have nearly enough hobbies. The days here remind me of Matapedia except for the scenery. I try to keep my self busy and outside but there are 16 hours in a day! And if I was working fulltime, I'd still have time to do the stuff I d now in the evenings.... running/walking/cycling

Definately didn't plan this right. Should have planned a 4 week stint backpacking somewhere. Instead, I feel I'm being lazy.

Maybe it's just me... I'm hoping to feel back to myself when work starts

2007-07-14T07:50:00.000-05:00

I can't sleep in. I went to bed early because I was tired/bored.

The idea of returning to Montreal scares me. I don't wanna deal with the cranky boyfriend, the heat and the financial stress that awaits me.

I've been coutning down the days since I got here but now I need a plan for when I go back. My parents don't understand me. They think I need a holiday. The past 3 months were a damn holiday, the longest I ever had! For years, I worked 6 days/ week during the summer. This summer was "working" in my field which was mentally tiring and even stressful but not in the same way as waitressing/ working for Ghassan! I only worked 40 hours a week and when work ended, that was it. Much different than the endless amounts of schoolwork!

Therefore, I need a job, something for a few weeks until I start my real job. Something to do while everyone else works. Something that I can quit easily. Besides for 3 months, I've just been spending. I can't go back there without a purpose.

The bf is getting to me. Complaining about his job, his hours, that he has lost contact with people. I'm supposed to be the moody one. I don't know what to say to him. Maybe if he had tried to learn French, he wouldn't have this problem. At least he gets paid for his job. Friends are overrated. I've gone 3 months without any, and without making any (apart from some asylum acquaintances). He complains he has no money. "Well quit smoking!"

I thought I'd make it for the last bit without any more tears, but I broke!

2007-07-08T18:56:00.000-05:00

Cycling, Skinned knees, Serenity

I feel relaxed, calm and at peace after my weekend. I was alone since my folks were in Montreal, but it was nice to be stress-free and to have a whole house to myself. Back in the day, I'd have had a party when I had an empty house, but in current day Matapedia, I have no friends. So I had a weekend to myself.

What started it off great was during my Friday evening run when I ran into another runner!! It was on the NB side after corssing the train bridge. She stopped me and I think we were equally shocked to see eachother. No one runs around Matapedia! It turns out she's run a couple of marathons herself and she lives down that road (towards NB's rafting grounds). Anyways she told me to check out the rolling hills that way. We went in our separate directions.

After that I felt inspired. Nothing could stop me as the rain started to downpour. I raced down the 132 feeling great and positive.

The weekend wasn't perfect. Although I wanted to cycle into town, a minor accident changed my plans. An RV near Tide Head scared me as it nearly touched my shoulder. I turned into the side of the road and my bike didn't like the gravel. The next thing I knew I was lying on my knees and hands in the gravel with skinned knees and hands. Thank God I had my helmet on!! Anyway, that caused me to head home to disinfect my gravel-ly wounds!! I kept myself busy/tough doing yardwork.

Now I'm at my asylum, feeling a bit tired, a bit achy but in a good way. After my long run (almost 2 hours), I lazed around for the rest of the day... reading, cleaning, cooking. Am I getting used to the boredom? Maybe I'm an official hermit now? It doesn't matter, only 11 days left here!

2007-07-03T19:34:00.000-05:00

I'm going to bed early because there is nothing else for me to do. I feel every minute when I'm here but at least I feel calm and relaxed. In the city, I'm always on the go and even when I'm relaxing, I'm still not as relaxed as I am now.

There's only 3 work weeks left and I need to stop complaining. Definately, some good has come out of living in the sticks again:

My mental endurance has strengthened and will someday carry me through a marathon or even an ultra-marathon
I am a semi-hermit so when abandoned by pals for a poker night, there will be no feelings of being left out!!
My drinking habits, which were nearly non-existant in Montreal, are extinct here!!
I succesfully gave up coffee and now know I can! (but will probably start drinking it again when I get back to the city)
In 2 months, I haven't skipped many runs and have been going a minimum 4 times per week, usually 5
I've gotten tons of driving practice and no longer dread having to drive (but I prefer to never buy a car unless I really need one- public transit is cheaper and greener)
I have realized that social contact is an important thing (exception: Autism)- more important than the 18 grand I owe to the govt!!

2007-06-21T17:10:00.000-05:00

I feel like everyday my goal is for the day to be over. When I get back to my room, I make an X through the day on the calendar and change into my sporty clothes. Then I hit the trail and I run. Running out here is different than running in the city. In the city, there were days I'd skip, days I'd not feel like going. But here, it's something I don't want to skip. Here, in this ghost town, where I live with a few acquaintances in a former psychiatric hospital, running is what makes me happiest.

I can leave in tears but midway through, the endorphins kick in and when I return to the rez, I may not be smiling but I feel that much stronger.

I know that the grass is greener and I'm longing to be at my home in Montreal. Once I get back, I'll be annoyed by the pollution, nasty heat and lack of a clean river to jump into!

I wish I could embark on the same kind of journey as the guy I met hiking on the SIAT. He had taken off 5 months from his investor job to hike. The SIAT was one of several and he was going all the way to Gaspe, solo, a 40 day journey!

I'm trying not to look too forward to this weekend, to prevent disapointment. Mentally, the desire is there but physically will be more of something I need to do.

Four weeks left!

2007-05-23T18:29:00.000-05:00

Life is too predictable...

I think taking the job is a step in the even more predictable direction. Why do I have to be so darn responsible?

I love my profession, it will definately keep my brain active and require problem solving, but I know that I have been saying for years that I needed to travel. The longer I postpone my travels, the less likely it is that I ever leave...

Some days I feel trapped... confused whether I'm in it for me or for the other party and the comfort. 25 is too young to already be a part of an old, boring, married couple.

The space, being away, is great. However, it gives me time to think about the above!

2007-05-06T07:58:00.000-05:00

I hate this town, its people and its weather. In Montreal I was running in shorts and capris and here I've had to revert back to the winter spandex. People think I'm odd for running because I'm not overweight. But seriously, running is all I got here, apart from my placement, which is why I'm here in the first place.

Living out here is like a painful, never-ending marathon. Each km goes by so slow. I know what's at the end waiting for me (my new real job, my own apt in a place that I'm more comfortable in, and a month off before I start the job). I know that when I leave, I'll be experienced and hopefully ready to work on my own as an SLP. Here I am getting a great placement. I get to work with 2 wonderful supervisors and it's all with children and I'm getting more experience with Autism. By the way I see the race going, I've completed 1 mile, I have a stitch on my side already and am doing breathing exercises to get to the finish.

I may not be a city girl but this place isn't for me either... if I'm gonna be in a small town, I wanna be in a small one where I can play in the mountains with other people that love the outdoors as much as I, not in a small one where people are close minded.

2007-03-14T21:16:00.000-05:00

Wow!

It's been a while.... So I feel that blogging is safer than writer on my facebook and that's why I'm here. I'm more just writing pour moi, like a journal, but an electronic one.

As the title of my blog and I have mentioned endlessly, "I'm dying to travel" and have been forever. And now I'll be done school and ready and free but I'm lost, a bit trapped and a bit afraid of losing something valuable. Rather than losing it, I'd rather treasure it but at the same time my dream has been to go, to leave... before I have any other commitments.

I only have a month and a half in Montreal, then NB for 3 months and then... that's what I don't know. I feel that if I stay, I may never leave and will end up old and regretting never seen anything. But if I leave I may end up old, travelled, but regretting having left and lost something important.

I tried to prevent any attachment at all whatsoever from the start but was not good enough..

2006-11-16T12:29:00.000-05:00

Transcribing stuttering is testing my patience... In one hour I got 2 minutes of a sample transcribed and I'll still need to listen to it again to make sure I didn't miss a stutter and I'll also have to put in the special codes so the program can analyze it. Luckily it's only a 6 minute sample!

I'm not a fan of the rain, would prefer some snow, but it'll be getting cold soon after these next mild days...

In a little over 3 weeks, I'll be done school (75% there in total). Got a long break this year, but'll avoid going to Matapedia too early as it is not good for my health (both mental and physical) ie. sweets, junk and my wonderful mom!

Okay back to the stuttering

2006-11-06T17:43:00.001-05:00

Maybe I've chosen the wrong profession. I'm dying to clean my apt, the floors feel dirty, but I gotta finish a takehome for tomorrow.

I found out Critter may be back for Xmas. I haven't told anyone except my blog which is unread...

Maybe I should post more often, but never have much to say.

I can say one thing: a decent roommate is hard to find, so for those of us that live with decent ones (myself included), we shouldn't take it for granted!!

Oh and Nana has "adopted" Jayne!!!

2006-11-06T17:43:00.000-05:00

2006-10-16T12:53:00.000-05:00

Carrying my brothers' baggage

One of them works honestly but is addicted to the worst. The other works dishinestly but at least is not addicted. I feel the weight of their problems on my shoulders, especially Cokehead's.

I, like my father, feel sick when I imagine him snorting his lines off of the table, after his show. Dad said I should have slapped his face, but in a loft of 15 people, I was the only one that stood out. Sure, they didn't all do it. But that's maybe 'cause they had no money to.

He looked at me pathetically, claiming he didn't want his sister to judge him or see him do this.

I can't erase the vivid images of all of them, especially him, with his lines laid out on the table.

It's not about judging. And when someone wants to change a behaviour, they go through stages before they can change. He isn't ready now, but maybe will be someday.

I can't carry this around with me. I have a career and life ahead of helping others. But change is a 2 way relationship between the client and the therapist. The therapist (slp) can only do so much.

Therefore, this being said, I'm writing Cokehead off. I'm disowning him, explicitly. And one day when he's ready to grow up, he can be my brother again.

2006-10-03T22:32:00.000-05:00

Wow! What a cool email...
_______________________________________________
You are cordially invited to a cocktail in honour of the 2006 recipient of the Loyola MedalLieutenant-General Roméo A. Dallaire (Retired)

Monday, October 16, 2006Cocktail 6:30 p.m.Lecture 8:15 p.m.Loyola High School Atrium7272 Sherbrooke St. W., Montreal$50 per personRSVP by October 6, 2006call 514-848-2424 ext. 4397or register online at alumni.concordia.ca

______________________________________

Then I read that it wasn't free. But I'd love to hear that man talk! Anyways, thought it was cool.

2006-09-17T09:43:00.000-05:00

Feet are precious!

On Monday I realized that with every painful step I took. It's almost healed now. I stayed off my feet for the week, except going to school and a bit of water aerobics.

I'm dying to run. I feel pretty lazy but well rested up. If I go today it'll be 20 minutes max and slow, easy, fun. I think I need the endorphins (to quote the ad on coolrunning "Running is my Prozac").

Not too much else to say. School has started and I'm starting to think about my travel plans. I think Europe first, then who knows. I'd really like to have an outdoorsy trek within my travels... I still have a while to think about it.

Ciao

2006-09-10T19:29:00.000-05:00

Owww!

Today as I ran my race, I was thinking, I must be crazy. Do I enjoy pain??

I started the race with my quads feeling tender, (due to running too fast while keeping up with the tall cuban from nextdoor) but I had put analgesic gel on it before I started, so it wasn't horrible pain, just that I "felt" the muscle was there.

I kept at pretty much the same pace throughout it (5:15/km). It felt amazing till 16 km, when I stopped to pee. Once I stopped, I realized I maybe shouldn't be running. But I continued, and finished while holding a stitch on my right side. My time was only 1 minute better than April (1 h 49), then again, this wasn't a flat course!!

I think running a race is like most things, not as fun to do alone. I missed not having E & her dad around. Jeremy did try to find me at the end but he couldn't...

I had an eventful day, while at the tamtams, a plane did an emergency landing on Parc avenue. I'll find out exactly on the news tonight...

Exhausted....

2006-08-27T18:40:00.000-05:00

2 weeks till my race!!

Home was fun... but I really shouldn't call it "home"!! I enjoyed hiking, fresh air, camping, Barold and not having to cook, but I missed my own apt. Now it's great to be back ( and not have to work). I ran in the rain and then had a good shower. I'm putting my toning ball to use by sitting on it while I watch tv or go on the computer!!

I call this my lazy week...

Monday- help Jayne w/ apt renovations
Tuesday- get roommate
Rest of week- help Jayne
Friday- back to school

2006-08-16T15:34:00.000-05:00

A month since my last entry!

My summer of work is nearly over. My last day of my stage is on Friday. And Saturday, I'll head east! I'm looking forward to getting away, especially hiking with Barry!

September 10th is also creeping up on me... I'm back into running 5 days/ week, but have not quite done a 2 hour "mock race" yet. I'm hoping to beat my April time, and complete this one in 1:45, or at least under 1:50.

September will also mean adjusting to a new roommate. But it's nice timing I think... If nothing else, my French will improve (new roommie is from France).

Anyways, I think that's enough of an entry!

2006-07-17T16:47:00.000-05:00

I should rename this blog "Working, running & sleeping". It's all I've been doing lately. I should drop 2nd cup, but the question is when. Plus, at least there is AC at my jobs!! It lets me escape the nasty summer heat!

I went to Vermont this weekend. It was pretty, reminded me of Fredricton. It also made me miss home. It's not my ecentric mom I miss but more the nature, being able to dip my feet in an ice cold river, the smell of the fresh air, the blue skies and the cool nights (minus the blackflies).

The race (8 miles) went well despite the heat. I think each mile's pace became slower but I ended up finishing in 1:05 which is good for me. I was a bit dizzy at the finishing line, but the medics gave me glucose and water (felt like hema quebec all over again)! It was so beautiful to run with scenery and without smog. Thank god, the september race will be cooler!

2006-07-13T17:47:00.000-05:00

Need to find a new roommate- for September!

Nope, Lora & I haven't killed eachother yet. But I'm pissed that she's moving out. Especially since she just signed the lease in July. She's running home for the comforts of her family, cheaper rent and a better paying job, all to help her pay off her student debt.

Now I gotta interview people, arrg.

Is it bitchy of me to think that when someone signs a lease, they will live somewhere for the duration of the lease??

On the cup half full side, maybe I can find a roommate with more in common, that doesn't coat everything in salt & olive oil, and that is a little less of a princess.

2006-06-20T09:00:00.000-05:00

I've started packing. My bedroom looks so much bigger and plain, kinda like Terrence's apt before his mom decorated it.

It's sad packing. It reminds me of the crazy parties we had. It brings back so many memories :

(Barry being counselled by Andrew, Clement & Phil living here, Crissy's family visiting, sneaking boys in through the kitchen door, singing in the basement with Quebecois stranger/ poet, freezing, everyone freezing, bickering with my parents about Stephan being a crook, Jayne playing the role of chef, counsellor & mom's "trap"!, Laura having to open her window in January, Elysia having to sleep in a 14 C room- 1st year, etc.)

It's been a good 3 years, especially coming from someone who doesn't fit in the city. My boss said the good thing about packing is that it forces you to get rid of stuff, which is what I am avoiding doing by blogging! I have gotten rid of a ton, which will go to the used store on the corner.

By donating stuff, Lora & I have acquired 2 vintage tennis rackets!! 9 pm tennis is my new thing. There are lots more rackets at the shop for anyone who wants to join us. Why 9pm?? That's when no one is at the court:)

Anyways, I gtg pack, tidy up & get ready for work. I also have a new bike (pink mountain velo), very girly and am selling my old one!

2006-06-11T19:16:00.000-05:00

I used to be cool!

So today, I was cleaning/packing/ throwing out junk I don't need (it's been in the coldwater basement for 3 years!) and I came across a birthday card from my 19th birthday in Rogers Pass, BC.

One person(Tony) had written "sometimes two girls kissing is alright, other times it's a fetish".

There was all sorts of other ramblings & hidden skeletons on it.

Compared to my wild days in The Pass, which were very Lord of the fly-ish (isolated society of hotel workers), I feel so old!! I feel so wise. I feel so boring.

Oh well, I used to be cool....

I also found my waterproof map of the park. It brought me to near tears, half nostalgia, half knowing that I cannot get that close to beauty this summer being in this concrete vista.

I did jog on the mountain yesterday, an amazing run, and almost pretended that I was alone with nature. But once I looked right I could see the buildings and the city.

Anyways, I'm off to Terry's...

2006-06-09T21:01:00.000-05:00

I've broken two of my three give-ups (beer & white flour)- in moderation of course.

I have gotten 2 interviews. One was for a daycamp for children with autism. They haven't called me, so I guess I didn't get it. (There must've have been lots of Gordie's that applied). Oh well, I'm not too bummed 'cause I wasn't too keen on the changing of diapers!!

I have another interview next week- language studies canada. It involves guiding international teenagers around Montreal to touristy places, museums etc, while speaking English! This would be a fun job I think. Not to mention I will blend right in (they're 13-17 yrs old)!!

My running is still going... It would be great to have someone to run with (the Marisa in my head sometimes wants to slack off) though. I still need Elysia to edit my plan, and a GPS would be nice, especially for my speed workouts.

Other than that, can't complain. Still working at 2nd cup (it's a job) and still gonna move into Callahan's on the 1st.

Gotta call Jayne and ingest some alcohol:)

2006-06-04T09:05:00.000-05:00

It's not lent, but I've found out that there are three things I need to give up; alcohol, white flour and men (especially ones who live in the St Henri area).

After drinking one beer, I feel the worst hangover ever. Since when?? White flour makes me feel light headed and the 3rd thing involved butchering a friendship, which I apologize Jayne for keeping it from you. There's not much to fill in!

I'm still at second cup, with none of the camp jobs responding to me. Is my CV that bad??

Anyways, gtg eat breakfast and psych myself out for a speed workout!

2006-05-28T22:39:00.000-05:00

I'm sunburnt already, it's not even June yet! I really wish I didn't have to stay here all summer long. I'm already bored with my summer city routine, mainly 'cause I hate cities.

On the bright side, got a great apt for July. I can volunteer for the diversite festival parade again. I can train rigourously and perhaps acclimate to running in these conditions.

Wow! That sounded so negative. I'm just bitter, it's my mood. I need another job, at least to supplement my barista time. Preferably something that doesn't involve coffee!

2006-05-14T10:36:00.000-05:00

Another race in the rain....

Yesterday evening I ran another race in the rain... Luckily, it was just drizzle, not like the 21 km, and it was shorter, 10 km. It was fun though. I got to see (well kinda see) the botanical gardens, peaceful. There were only about 75 runners, most of which were older, faster men!! So for some of the race, I was alone. I had a few girls behind me and a couple of guys ahead of me. It was loopy, and me with my awful sense of direction (how was I ever in cadets??) almost didn't know which way to go... I just followed the guys ahead of me. So I finished it in a little under 50 minutes, which is faster than my half marathon pace... I'm happy. And the YMCA doesn't give prizes because it considers all of its participants to be winners!!

Anyways, we have our apt which leads to arguments... Lora wants to decorate it in the best way possible. But I don't really care, I'm cheap. Dollarama is fine for me!! She doesn't want it to be dumpy... I personally don't care. I care about the cleanliness about it, but interior decorating was never my strong point!! I'm not artistic.

Okay.. I gtg to the gym...

2006-05-12T08:25:00.000-05:00

So we have an apt in NDG. The only downpoint is that it's 8 minutes from the metro by bus:(

But its other advantages outweigh the disadvantages, so we're taking it (heat, elec, a/c etc).

I'm not going to France. It's just bad timing with my stage. So I'm back at second cup in the mean time but may get another part-time job. Maybe something more waitress-y.

I got a 10 km race tomorrow evening for the YMCA. 10 km is too fast for me, but it'll be good just as a measurement of my distance and to incorporate a little speed workout for this week. I think I'll do sante-oasis's half marathon again in september as my keep-in-shape goal.

Not too much else to say. I'm sad to be leaving St Henri, but I promise to visit Terry and Joey, and they better visit me!!!

Anyways... gtg shower before signing the lease, and then going to work!!

2006-04-27T09:51:00.000-05:00

I'm apt hunting... This time I'm being cautious. I never knew how nice Hydro Quebec people can be. I feel like a little spy calling them for quotes on the apts I check. That way there will be no fears, no $600 heating bills and I know what to expect...

We found a great apt. I call it Coldwater flat-the next generation. Unfortunately, it's cold- that's why the current tenants are leaving-so it's a no for me!! But it was big, long, bowling-alley-like (very long apt)... And the landlord does not seem as helpful as Stephane... There were things he still had not fixed in the apt...

Hopefully, the other apt on Terrence's street will be okay! It's small, but for 2, it should be fine...

I am dreading going to work! I went back to Ghassan for my old job back... at least for now. I feel like I crawled out of ditch, not a hangover, kinda a cold... But Second cup will only be 3 shifts/week, and then there'll be my unpaid stage for 2 days/week-which I'm looking forward to!!

I may start looking for a better summer job- maybe a summer camp... Lora laughed at me because she will make more in 2 days/week at oceanwide than I will doing 4 days/week at second cup.

Well, it's a good thing I don't buy/wear 70$ makeup!!!

Cold FX- why aren't you working??

The half marathon went great... except for all the rain. Hmm maybe that's why I'm sick! I finished in 1 hour 50. It's 7 minutes faster than in September, a PR. Doesn't sound like much, but that was better than I had expected... I'm doing a 10km in 2 weeks with the YMCA, it goes to charity... 10km is too fast pour moi, but I'll just take my time...

Adios!

2006-04-20T22:36:00.000-05:00

Today I found out that my old friend Lei Lei, the girl who first taught me my mandarin phrases such as "you are a pervert " is married!! She's also going to have a baby in 1 month!!

I'm kinda shocked!! Makes me feel old- and weird when friends my age get married and "grow up".

But she's living in Jasper and invited me out, so hopefully sometime I can hitch out...

My nails are bitten really bad, even for my nails!! I'm trying to finish my speech sciences paper...

Next goal: find an apartment!

2006-04-13T12:13:00.000-05:00

Carb overload! (Glycogen for tomorrow's run)

I'm enjoying my leftovers of pasta with pesto along with my free coffee from the library. I'm getting done with the semester, just have 1 exam, 1 paper and 1 project. My next thing is not until Tuesday.

I may have a stage secured soon. It'll be 5 weeks at mckay center for 2 days/week and then 10 days at a language camp in August!!

If this becomes confirmed, I can start to plan France for June/July and can work part-time in May (probably at a cafe). I feel a little less overwhelmed compared to a week ago:)

Okay must be disciplined and get back to work...

2006-04-06T11:33:00.000-05:00

Spring is such a tease!

On Friday, I was jogging in shorts along a densely populated canal.

Yesterday, I jogged alone, in my windproof jacket, warmer spandex pants and mitts....

Tomorrow, I think I will be forced to attempt my mock half marathon, without the sun's encouragment.

Apart from that, I'm stressed, drained, got lots of exam preparation ahead of me, papers, projects.... Arggg.. I'm not done until the 26th!

Also, they still have not found me a placement for my may practicum... that's putting my France plans on a hold.

Lastly, I don't know what's going on in terms of my apt situation... Will I pay and not be here... I'm sure as heck not rich enough to do that-it makes me question if I can afford going to France.

I apologize for whining like Jayne's dedicated soul mate- he who puts her on a pedastole... I just feel overwhelmed!! ( But I acknowledge that the end of the semester is like that)

2006-04-03T12:54:00.000-05:00

Wanna know more about infamous Matapedia??

2006-03-21T23:06:00.000-05:00

You are a
Social Liberal
(75% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(18% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Socialist

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

2006-03-20T23:24:00.000-05:00

Terrence! There is hope for you!! (Prince & Phil too)

2006-03-18T16:19:00.000-05:00

I looked up the definition of cold-water flat...

and found it to be "an apartment without modern conveniences". Which somewhat fits with our place. It sure isn't modern. But it does have computers, internet, electricity and (sometimes) hot water!!

The flat is clean, so I can't procrastinate about writing my assessment report. I've also rearranged my bedroom. It is now possible to walk through my door without having to squeeze against my bed. It feels much bigger and now by bed is closer to the window.

Yesterday, was my best run in a while. While the weather sucked, I ended up going for an hour and a half. I got lost and ended up at Beaubien metro. Today I am staying off my legs until tomorrow when I gotta jog a little again.

Anyways, c'est tout!

2006-03-17T09:01:00.000-05:00

This is why I've never done any medical testing!

As rare as it is for complications like this to occur, it's still scary! Then again, without clinical trials, the drugs would never be available... It's kind of a catch-22.

Gordie has done several medical trials in the past and his went fine.

2006-03-16T23:09:00.000-05:00

I really don't blog anymore. I'm not sure why. It's not a lack of time and it's not laziness, I think it's just something I stopped doing- a change in my routine!

But, then again I don't feel like I have much interesting stuff to mention.

Being asked what's new? Seems like a rhetorical question... I'd say "same old", school, running and Montreal- the way I live it (may not fit the criteria for living according to one of my siblings).

I am looking forward to adventure or maybe it's more the part of packing a backpack. I'm not sure, but I just won't go back on my word. I solemnly swear to leave Montreal for no less than 2 months. There, now that it's in writing, I have NO excuse to stagnate at a cafe for 7$ an hour!

That may have sounded stupid, but when it comes down to it, I don't want to stay here because "it's the thing I should do". Yet, summer after summer, I work like the little red hen and stay in the city...

Anyways, I gonna keep reading (and hopefully blogging)

Gotta sleep well for my long run demain!

2006-03-09T12:33:00.000-05:00

Beatty Hall (communication disorders building) was robbed!

It looks like it was an inside job because they knew what to take, all of the expensive computers and research equipment was stolen.

No one is allowed anywhere except in the classrooms and bathroom.

It's kinda chaotic at school.

2006-03-04T11:47:00.000-05:00

I think my body can't handle alcohol anymore:( I only had 3 beer lastnight and this matin I feel awful. Running on alcohol fuel also is tough- this morning my 20 minute loop felt like a 2 hour run!

I'm glad to see that it's warmed up outside because now I suffer less of a chance of becoming hypothermic (in the flat)!!

This week's mileage was 33 km (in total) and next week it goes up to 35 km. I must say I know feel a physical tired ontop of the mental one (in a good way).

Okay I've got a paper to write about patients with aphasia who can't talk but can only swear and say other overlearned phrases. I'm lying, I can't write till I read papers avant!

Adios!

2006-02-21T14:25:00.000-05:00

Another peaceful day!

I slept in until 10 am. Woke up to an empty house, then made myself some breakfast and then headed outdoors.

I couldn't find official crosscountry ski trails, so I just went on the skidoo ones. It was beautiful, calm, and I never ran into a skidoo or anyone. It was a lot of climbing, and I hadn't waxed my skis, but it was a fast run coming back. I even managed to lose my ski.

Anyways, I better read before the family gets home.

I sure as heck can't do this in montreal (walk into the woods behind my house and ski for hours in solitude)...

Still wanna see my Mercury!

2006-02-20T10:26:00.000-05:00

Home sweet home!

I came home for the week. Not sure why but I mentally prepared myself for it, so it's alright.

The trip here was during friday's winter storm, and it made a long train ride even longer! Instead of pulling into Matapedia at 5 am, I stepped off the train at 4:30 pm! I was cheerful throughout the whole ordeal (too cheerful according to Derek), but it made for an interesting adventure.

On the bright side, my left trip is 50% off. Sadly, had I been 12 hours late, my next trip would be free!!

So I've got the home to myself. It's warm, unlike my trusty cold-water flat. I even managed to run in the -22 C weather (without windchill). Now I should attempt to do some sort of school work. I also am making the family dinner and must have the house clean if I don't wanna hear my father bicker.

Okay c'est tout!!

I'll be back on friday

2006-02-14T14:28:00.000-05:00

Productive Day! (for me)

I ran 45 minutes, baked Prince a birthday cake and read my articles for my POTH class this afternoon.

But the cake kinda broke upon removal from the pan and my hands are cracked and almost bleeding from the cold air and from cleaning...

Still debating going home for a rest!

2006-02-03T13:07:00.000-05:00

New haircut!!

Money can't buy happiness but it can buy a nice hair cut & style!! I had my hair cut today. It's nice, she even straightened it. So I'll be pretty for a day.... I'd never have the patience/time/care to style my hair daily!! It's enough trouble using conditioner. I'm just too lazy, for the same reason that I never wear makeup.

Anyhow, I gotta work on papers, presentation and readings if I'm going to Phil M's b'day. Adios!!

2006-01-27T15:06:00.000-05:00

Kritter's having a great time in NZ!! Check out her blog if you haven't already.

Today we cleaned the cold-water flat. It's so nice to say we instead of I. The place was dusted, mopped, vacuumed and couches were moved!

I'm going to France this summer, if all goes well and I can continue to live cheap!

Well I gtg study... I'm at the bibliotheque and then off to Joanne's class:)

2006-01-23T13:40:00.000-05:00

Cold Fx worked for me!

Sorry, that sounds like hooked on phonics. But Jayne was sick this past weekend and I started to feel it... Many pills later, I'm nearly in full strength. BTW, Jayne, I hope you're feeling better as you were not at fusion.

Critter has officially left North America and today is election day. I guess I will hope that it's only a conservative minority. I'm rooting for my blue-eyed separatist! At least he's better than Bush's marionette :)

I finally understand the parlimentary system of Canada, well in a condensed wikipedia kinda way. That may make me sound like a moron, but my world knowledge sucks. One of my resolutions was to educate myself and that I have.

Anyways... c'est tout!

Please people just vote!

2006-01-20T10:21:00.000-05:00

I'll try to write more often even if it's not interesting....

Starting this week will be my pre-training for the half marathon. I'm gonna run 4-5 times per week for 30-60 minutes to increase my mileage. Then, I will start the actual training.

E's my coach this time round... And I woke up ready to jog, although the weather wasn't cooperative. I may resort to running indoors at the Y....

Okay, c'est tout pour aujourd'hui.

2006-01-16T13:55:00.000-05:00

You Are an Espresso

Doesn't really surprise me....

Although I think that fusion class helped to reduce my "high strunginess"!

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic
At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung
You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping
Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

2006-01-09T16:57:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I disappeared up north to St Agathe. A friend invited me weeks ago, but I didn't think I was going till Friday morning. I basically ran out of the flat in a hurry... packed and got ready in 20 minutes!

I skiied (cross-country style) and snowshoed and ate like a vegan. It was a fun weekend, great exercise and a great excuse not to shower! (Who cares when you're in the woods).

But now I'm back to the city where I gotta shower and focus!! I am having difficulty motivating myself to listen in class and to start reading.

Critter is leaving on the 21st... so we gotta plan goodbye events! Lora (her replacement) has moved in and everyone has to meet her!!! (Jayne!!)

I also need a freakin WHY-EM-SEE-EH schedule. I checked online and it's not posted. This makes me consider taking the night off... Not sure what classes are scheduled.

Okay enough Barbara-ing (inside joke for those who know my mom)...

Adios

2006-01-04T21:34:00.000-05:00

School has started. I'm home alone in the coldwater flat... which ain't so cold. I turned up the heat to 21C!! I figured that since we pay for it, I'd rather not freeze and still pay a chunk.

My main goal for the new years is to stop biting my nails!! (I've already broken it) And also to complete my 2nd half marathon in April. That means that I'll have to start training for it again... (Damn the Montreal winters!)

Well that's enough.. gtg shower

2005-12-28T14:30:00.000-05:00

I'm still in Matapedia. A little bored, but I'm warm and still have not killed my mom!!

I'm using my new laptop that my dad got me for noel! It's a big gift and I didn't ask for it... In fact, I feel guilty. I'm not perfect. My brothers resent me for it. They think I'm a princess. But dad said I could use it and it was for all my rock breaking!!!

As for a definition of rock breaking. Phil once told me that he's smart and I'm not and I only get by with my hard work (synonymous to rock breaking). And he's right!! Phil is brilliant, smart, has an innate ability, so different from me. But if he applied himself, even 5%, he would be so far ahead!!! I know he'll find his way though.

Prince Poopie too. He's just gotta follow his passion... and forget about what dad thinks. He could be anything but I believe he wants to be an artist.

Anyways, so far I've skiied, slid, shovelled, jogged and walked a lot. I've seen Mercury, the object of my affection. I've played board games, seen friends. It's been a good holiday...

2005-12-15T11:17:00.000-05:00

So, I have no excuse not to write. I'm finished exams and all I have left is my 2 days of audiology practicum at the hospital. That's why I'm sticking around the cold-water flat for another week.

Well, also TLF is driving me home (road trip)!!!

I can't believe how fast the semester past. It's scary 'cause just 3 more and I'll have to work-work. That reduplication is to signify a different job, not like second cup/ presse cafe. Not to mention, I've been in school forever. I almost feel cheated, like I need to see the world before I can work-work. So I am truly considering a trip this summer after my orthophoniste stage in May.

Okay, c'est assez!!!

I'm gonna attempt to jog... to test out my xmas gift from the roommates...:)

2005-12-08T21:23:00.000-05:00

I thought I was a tomboy:(... no makeup, no nails, no dressing up, no underwear (occasionally)....

You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine.
You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you.
A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down.
But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

2005-12-08T16:00:00.000-05:00

I don't mind the cold. I like it. But I prefer cold with at least snow on the ground. Cold and cement = too city-like pour moi. The cold can be refreshing, in the morning and it can keep you alert. And living in a cold apt, makes the outdoors that much more tolerable.

Anyways, speaking of the cold-water flat, we're having trouble replacing Critter! The substitute roommate thing can be difficult when Queen Bee (aka Queen E) has so much input. I say we just go ahead with someone who is tidy, reliable, can pay the rent, is in school, doesn't smoke, and is queer-positive and open-minded.

But... some people have other requirements such as: no short skirts, no people who talk fast, no people who could potentially become the new boss of the coldwater flat!!

At Katarina put it, we could look for 3 years and we won't find another Critter. So I say, let's just take what we can get and we'll make do.... well as long as he's not homophobic/racist (one potential guy was and that is a problem for me).

Just 3 more exams... Friday, then a takehome and last one tuesday... I'm tired and cranky!

2005-11-25T14:38:00.000-05:00

Celebrated American thanksgiving with E's family lastnight. We had a family game night too (without Terrence, Jayne, or Gao)... It was fun.

It's getting really wintery outide. I feel like in 3 days, it became winter. I tried to run, but may resort to indoor running soon, as it is challenging to run when you can't feel your thighs. Hmm maybe I need some kind of windproof pants to run in?

I feel ready for a break and for the semester to end. But don't want finals to begin...

Congrats to Terrence... FYI: Next week he starts working 9-5 shifts. He will be able to go line dancing with me now and won't be able to stay up until all hours of the night.

Back to my phonology studying....

Adios

2005-11-21T20:33:00.000-05:00

ASL or Augmentative Communication??

I don't feel like making a decision.... And this year I had none, no classes to pick, nothing to decide. But I have an option for next semester.

I could take American Sign Language (ASL). But it's an intro class and I already took one last year (which I loved). Therefore, this could be an easy class and give me a break and it fits nicely into my schedule.

The other option:

Augmentative Communication. If you don't know what that is, I suggest you wikipedia it. This could be interesting and it would be something very new. But it doesn't fit as nicely into my schedule.

Yah, so what do you think?

2005-11-19T19:40:00.000-05:00

Nothing he can do is good enough for dad.

His music, nope.
His apartment, no way. In fact dad wouldn't even step foot in it.

No wonder he runs to a quick dopamine fix for his woes... at least it's there for him!

2005-11-04T14:20:00.000-05:00

生日快樂 Gao He! 生日快乐 Gao He!

(I hope the dictionary was right!!!)

2005-11-02T22:37:00.000-05:00

I swear it's true...

So I am bored of working on a language project and decided to play in Wikipedia. I searched Matapedia and found this included :

"Many of the islands on the river, which are only accessible by canoe, contain lush marijuana groves (mostly of m39 and frieseland hybrids) planted by fisherman looking to subsidize their income." (Wikipedia, 2005)

Wow!! Who wrote that entry?? Didn't know that!! Is that cool or what??

2005-10-30T18:31:00.000-05:00

Friday night, after Clive's party Jayne accidentally called 8-1-1 (as opposed to 9-11). Woman was really sick and it seemed serious. There were several signs that these men were fraud EMT's (according to Max- Critter's customer from the cafe):

-they were eating her Tums
-they wanted to move in and us to make them breakfast
-they wanted to come to our next party
-they stayed 45 minutes and chatted
-they asked where my parents were (okay, I just added that in, cuz I'm sick of getting carded!!!)

Okay... gtg study

2005-10-26T20:56:00.000-05:00

Zen and the art of audiology

Did you ever wonder why your own voice sounds different (to you) on a recording as compared to while you speak??

My friends, that is because of the occlusion effect. When you hear your own voice, you are hearing it through both bone conduction (when sound waves travel through your skull to stimulate your cochlea) and air conduction. On a recording, you are only hearing air conduction.

That's my tidbit... and in a few weeks I get to screen kids' hearing. Use fancy ear instruments... test hearing... look in ears...

Anyways, c'est tout. I'm gonna go home and have some herbal tea, put on my pj's and finish studying:)

2005-10-23T17:37:00.000-05:00

Stupid spam comments. I tried to prevent them, but guess what I consider spammy comments differs from what my blog considers spammy comments.

I'm having an awful time with my takehome. It's taking me way too long and I'm getting nowhere. It's due demain matin and I just can't seem to get one of the questions...

I also need to get on with my other projects/classes...

My cuzin Matt spent Friday night in jail... He beat up a female cop, broke a window of the cop car and once again his mouth got him in trouble!! I have zero sympathy for him...

Anyways, I'm gonna go eat and think about oral motor development and try to finish this damn takehome!

2005-10-21T12:52:00.000-05:00

Today I went to the dentist (first time since my Durocher days). It was free, (thank god for mcgill's dental insurance) and in Westmount. The dentist and his assistant both took pity on me. They asked me where I lived and I said "down the hill in St Henri". They said well, at least it does the trick!! They don't wanna take out my wisdom teeth and didn't make fun of my dental problems. My previous dentists always want me to get braces and correct my bite ($$$).

I've gotta get back to travail, got a few midterms next week and 2 assignments. I am stuck on a phonological development question and can't ask my classmates cuz it's independant..

I wanna join the outdoors club, not that I have the time, but it's cheap membership and I'd get to rent cheap gear from 'em as well as be able to go on trips.

Oh yah, almost oublied... 2 Halloween Parties

Friday October 28- Gordie's place (Above Sheinarts)
Saturday Oct 29 - Terrence's place- note: this is the first time that the coldwater flat will not be hosting a party... so Terrence is hosting one in our honour...

2005-10-20T12:16:00.000-05:00

We grudgingly turned on our heat the other day...

2005-10-16T19:31:00.000-05:00

I'm going to Terry's soon. I told myself I'd do work, but I've read so much about hearing today (studying audiology, then readings for another class that was about hearing screenings). By so much, I mean I'm sick of it for tonight and want a break...

adios

2005-10-14T18:15:00.000-05:00

The highlight of my day was the cortisol cream I bought.

Black Pants to cover excema $20
Aveeno lotion to moisturize legs $8
Cortisol lotion to get rid of itchiness $3.99
Not spending hours scratching the patches till bleeding -- priceless

** That's my mastercard story **

Now I shall get to work. I went to Joanne's step class (half an L step over the step).

C'est tout!!

2005-10-10T22:31:00.000-05:00

I seem to have abandonned the blogging, like most of my bloggies that I link to. Jayne (aka Nana's favourite grand daughter) still blogs and JB.

Where am I?

Still in montreal in my office or windowless room. I can't sleep, the 3 cups of coffee and endless cups of tea are working their magic. But I wanna sleep. (And the guys arrived before Critter had a chance to talk ... damn)

Tomorrow is my last day at the daycare in Westmount. I'll miss those 3 year olds. Sometimes I wish I were that young again. I'll also have to study, another exam wednesay.

I should probably take advantage of this insomnia and study or study to fall asleep...

And I'll publically thank Jayne for her patience in dealing with my mom( no offense mom) as well as her culinary skills.

Bon nuit:)

PS Elysia & Laura still ain't back?!

2005-10-04T16:20:00.000-05:00

Your Sexy Halloween Costume Is

Batgirl

What Sexy Halloween Costume Are You?

2005-09-16T21:51:00.000-05:00

This doesn't surprise me one bit!

2005-09-07T17:27:00.000-05:00

I'm tired... Grad school is intense and drowsy (sitting in a small class for hours). The famous half marathon is on Sunday:)

2005-08-31T14:53:00.000-05:00

What's new??

Jayne gets back today!!!

I got a new pillow (feathers).

Poopie has no bed, he sleeps on a round cushion.

Terrence is my neighbour, love his apt!

Critter's boss is a "closeted pervert" (Curt, 2005).

The half mararthon is less than 2 weeks away.

It's raining men, well raining and I haven't thanked anyone!!

2005-08-26T07:46:00.000-05:00

Summer is over!!

I feel burnt out... I'm gonna have to give my boss an ultimatum (no more than 2 shifts a week). Right now, he's trying to pressure me into working 4 or more (during school). I'm not gonna flunk out of grad school for a lousy minimum wage job!!

My little bro was visiting me and I couldn't see him, cuz I worked 6 days. Today's the day off... gonna go run errands and shower first!!

Poopie and Cuzin Matt will be my new neighbours!!

2005-08-20T16:09:00.000-05:00

You'll have to excuse me, I'm not on my best...
I've been red-eyed for the week, I've been home for a rest
All of this yelling has been such a test

***

I climbed the highest peak in the maritimes, and so did my mom in her fancy shoes!!!

All in all, it was nice to smell fresh air and to sleep in cold weather... and to see Mercury. But I'm ready to get back to civilization:)

2005-08-11T14:43:00.000-05:00

Home for a Rest

Four more days (nights) of travail then I'll leave. I'm looking forward to relaxing and outdoorsy stuff (camping/hiking) with my famille and fighting too...

Jen's here but gone AWOL with her cousin Renee and I presume Critter. Patty's crashed here.

Happy Birthday Cousin Matt:)

2005-08-02T11:21:00.000-05:00

The never-ending glory

His cords belt out a heart-felt rage
As he's watched, lovin' the stage
But all the applause just ain't enough
His mind craves the white to snuff.

He tells his friends that he has control
As he gets closer to a hole
His pay evaporates and up he goes
The evidence obvious through his damaged nose

They tell me to stop being the pa-parazzi
It's his problem, so let him be
That sooner or later he will see
It's his life to live freely

But to ignore would mean to not care
Wanting to help, but how and where??
He receives support from my grand-mere
Why can't he just be a star by having the right hair?

I have nightmares that some day he will crash
Really, it's about more than the cash
Like Romeo Dallaire, it's shaking hands with the devil
Hard to turn back once it amounts to this level

If I wasn't an atheist, maybe I would pray
Given up on talking, nothing to say
As a solemn promise to let him go his way
Still trying to be sincere and not betray

2005-07-27T09:47:00.000-05:00

My cousin and I had a great time at the parade. I got the best view of it and Matt did a great job kicking out ice cream salesmen without official concessionary licenses and keeping the crowds off the street. I tried but I guess I wasn't intimidating enough.

I got this pic of Montreal Chris for Jayne who is absent for the festivities. I'll post others, but bloggerbot (the picture-posting program isn't the easist to use).

Matt said this has inspired him to do more volunteer work, he had no idea it could be so much fun. Maybe that's the problem these days, we don't do anything intrinsically (myself included). But when it's not a chore and you're doing something because you actually want to, it's more fun!!!

2005-07-26T21:05:00.000-05:00

Pictures of the Pride Parade for Divers/Cit�!!!

2005-07-21T17:27:00.000-05:00

Want $100 worth of free drinks??

The divers/cité parade is in need of volunteers for their pride parade next Monday night July 25th. All you have to do in the parade is help security and give info to the audience. As a thank you, all volunteers will receive a t-shirt and a voucher that can be used towards beverages at the festival.

If you're interested... email me and I will fill you in:)

Check it out!

2005-07-19T08:48:00.000-05:00

My blackmailed room feels like a sauna... Even with the fan facing me at number 3... It'll be a relief to get out of the heat when/if I go home. It's muggy and sticky outside, but not sunny. I'm off and not sure what I'll do today. I wouldn't mind if it cooled off for a day or two.

We got a paper that a company may want to use our apt to film a movie "Naked Josh 3". Only problem is that it's during, half of the first semester!!! Not sure what the girls'd say to that.

Adios

2005-07-13T22:09:00.000-05:00

This is cool

2005-07-12T20:44:00.000-05:00

Family Reunion/Camping

This weekend I attended the annual Shearing family picnic in St Remi, near Tremblant. I'd never gone before (because of cadet camp, B.C. etc) but I figured that at least it could get me out of the city...

I enjoyed being away from the city and my flat, which I haven't left in quite a while. (Editor's note: I'm not a hermit, but I mean I've been in Mtl for a while).

I learned where I get my obsessive organization skills from, and that I could be a lot worse... (like my aunts!!!). I also found out that my dad was the cool rebelious brother growing up, or so my uncles claim. Logically, it suggests that my big bro Phil may end up listening to Celine Dion and having a family someday.

Nonetheless, the camping, swimming and kayaking was great. It'll be even more fun when we canoe down the Restigouche river in August (Hg and Critter and whoever else).

Au Revoir....

2005-07-04T13:00:00.000-05:00

David Rubin releases his fifth CD!!

2005-06-28T12:22:00.000-05:00

Reparative Therapy- "Love" in Action

I read about this story on Mtl Chris' blog and it angered me. A teen has been sent to an ex-gay fundamentalist camp to "cure" him.

First, there is no empirical evidence that reparative therapy is effective. Second, homonegativity and homophobia are bigger problems themselves.

Check it out....

2005-06-27T11:11:00.000-05:00

Cleaning the flat doesn't even interest me.

2005-06-25T12:51:00.000-05:00

Mercury, I hope Chris will come canoeing too. Here he is dancing on a pole at Parking!

2005-06-25T11:25:00.000-05:00

Oooh Rotty... Canoeing in August with my best man!!

I asked my boss yesterday about getting 5 days off in August to go home. He was surprised that I'm from the Gaspesie (I'm not Francophone). Anyways, he said I can go for sure as long as I ask a week or 2 in advance so that other people can do my shifts.

I just need to plan the exact details about when. It'll truly be a nice rest from the city.

Anyone who wants to go, contact me. The more the merrier...

2005-06-21T08:17:00.000-05:00

Congrats to the new "Budget Rent a Car" employee!!!

2005-06-19T12:13:00.000-05:00

I want to go running but I just ate and feel a bit hungover. The after effects of Sky are still here... It was actually my 1st time at Sky since that unfortunate coat-check incident in February. Yah, thank god it was summer and I wasn't sporting a winter parka this time!!

I complain being over worked but then when I have days off, I don't know what to do. In the Rockies (actually Selkirks- another Western chain of mountains- but for simplicity's sake I'll say Rockies) there was no question about what to do. I waitressed a minimum 48 hours a week and when I wasn't working, I was hiking. Once every couple of weeks, I'd hitch hike into civilization (70 km to Revelstoke).

Most of the time I'd work these crazy split shifts, serving breakfast and supper. This gave me a long break between shifts and enough time to go on a quick hike with my pal Blake (who had worked the graveyard shift at the gas station). We hiked as much as we could. Sometimes I'd run into tourists on the trail and later that night serve them their dinner!!!

Although Montreal is a big city, I don't have these opportunities here. Sure, I can jog along the canal or explore Mount Royal, but that is incomparable to real nature.

I've been thinking a lot about it lately and especially reading Jayne's travelling blog, I'm considering hitching somewhere in August. It's maybe a little selfish but this is my last free summer. I'm not sure where I'm going, but for sure somewhere... I'd prefer not to hitch alone (safety reasons). Anyone up for it??

2005-06-17T20:43:00.000-05:00

I got a truck full of Women and I'm rollin' down the road

Check out my uncle David's site, which, hopefully the Dissonants (see Jeremy Brendan's site) will soon do a cover of!!

2005-06-10T23:32:00.000-05:00

I feel like punching someone, screaming or crying. I'm a mess, burnt out and this smoltering heat is analagous to hell, literally. It makes me reconsider my atheist values (if hell is hotter than this... )

Mom and dad didn't say if/when they're arriving. I gotta sleep anyhow so the door's unlocked for anyone to enter...

Why did I stay in this city???

Why does the cold water flat have to be so warm?

Why the hell am I writing this ??

2005-06-08T17:27:00.000-05:00

This was at sky in February when Merc visited me!

2005-06-07T18:27:00.000-05:00

Your IQ Is 90

Your Logical Intelligence is Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Average
Your General Knowledge is Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

2005-06-06T15:53:00.000-05:00

It's too hot to run outside. Feels like an oven. I think Matapedia's summers are more tolerable....

My folks are coming up this weekend for my grad.

2005-06-03T14:47:00.000-05:00

I ruined Critter's Graduation

I couldn't babysit Critter's cousin, so they had to take him to the grad. I had to sleep (worked overnight) and my nerves were so shot that it could have been dangerous. This sucks, I wake up and then go back to work.... hate that I wasted my day sleeping...

2005-06-01T17:40:00.000-05:00

I'm eating a cheese, lettuce and tomato sandwich on challah bread. If I close my eyes, it brings me back to when I was a child. When my dad took us to museums and on outings, we'd eat these sandwiches from our blue cooler. This was usually during our visits to Montreal. My nana would be there too. It's good but not as good as dad makes it.

Happy birthday to my older brother. He's 25 today, yikes, I feel so old (23 in a couple of months.... but still get constantly asked if I'm 16!). He's playing a show at Reggie's ce soir... I gtg

2005-05-31T19:16:00.000-05:00

Friday, our flat will be invaded by the Lyons!! Critter is graduating so it'll be a full house. Mine isn't till the 13th.

If I had something interesting to write, I would, but I don't. Except uh, we went to Brutopia last night with Craig (Jayne- u remember him from the party). It was trivia night so that was fun, well if we could ignore Craig's "advances". I say we cuz he was being opportunistic/ obnoxious towards Critter & I.

I think it's grand prix weekend so work should be busy.....

2005-05-28T16:00:00.000-05:00

He makes me sick
An alcoholic
I keep trying to help
This time I'm not bailing you out, bro
You whiskeyed away your pay
Now find another sucker today

2005-05-27T14:13:00.000-05:00

Today I got a postcard from Jayne. I enjoy reading her blog with green eyes. Vicariously, of course. It's more exciting than being a barista.

Demain, I can sleep!!! Anyone who knows me would know I'm not much of a sleepie-head. But I'm looking forward to waking up late 9/10 am:)

I'm singing. It's Friday....

Gonna go for a run!!!

2005-05-26T18:21:00.000-05:00

"Bloody hell, I can't believe..... (fill in the blank)."

That's what I hear from dad. He calls me to lecture me about my brothers, as if it's somehow my fault. Ca m'énerve!!! I don't wanna hear about it. I've sold my soul to the second cup corporation, why can't my bros be conformists too? Why can't Phil call revenue quebec and tell them he's a student? Why do I get lectured by dad that he has no money, when I'm not asking him for any?

I hate it!! I'm sick of being everyone's doormat!!

2005-05-25T14:43:00.000-05:00

Waking up at 5 am can be pleasing. I love getting off work and still having sun.

2005-05-17T10:07:00.000-05:00

I have no sympathy for Mr Brendan. It's been said that there are only an infinite amount of stories, and these themes keep on repeating themselves. This is the story of the little red hen all over again.

I won't forget him running off to "party like it's 1969" after receiving his provisionary loan. I won't forget trying to help him plan ahead. But I hope that history will not repeat itself.

This may seem cold but it hurts me to see someone so talented and bright end up being pushed farther away from his dreams. It's disrespectful to those of us who actually have to study hard, go to class and hand in assignments (aka the rock busters). It's a shame because I'm sure he's one of the better writers... but the dept doesn't see that.

At least he hasn't given up. I think he's ready to go back to school, hard core. After a year of history, they'll take him back and if not, I know he'll succeed.

J.B. I may not be able to feed you stale chicken wraps with day old Presse salad, but I want to help you get back on track.